Almost a week before, a sixteen year old was held, for allegedly meticulously planning for rape and then killing a five year old girl in Gujrat.
As a renter in his victim's house, this teenager had also allegedly committed thefts, which were discovered by his landlord, who then threw him out of the house, besides realizing the loss from their daughter.
Naturally, now his parents are in a state of disbelief.
"In today’s time, Youngsters like to live as if adolescence were a last fling at life, rather than a preparation for it "
During the 2010, the news of a Gurgaon based school student of eight or ninth standard shooting dead one of his schoolmates with his father’s pistol, spread the shocking undulation, throughout the country and the people. Unbelievable, how could an adolescent of 8th standard take such a brutal step, irrespective of the fact that his victim was reportedly a big bully in school, and the accused had decided to clear up the debt with his tormentor with the help of his father’s pistol.
This experience voiced a debate in the media, and reasons like changed habitat circumstances of today, and over exposure to mass media which in turn has been accused of glamorizing hostility to some extent, especially through television, cinema, video games etc. were floated. Initially such accidents were named the influenced of western culture. But comparing the facts and number of such incidents are colossal in number than complete Europe. Rape, Theft, burglary, Honour Killing, abduction and such kind of crime are only the gift of poverty, lack of education, incomplete knowledge, racism and of individual insecurities. Any kind of relativity with Europe for our dirt mentality will be stupid opinion, we were always considered as luddite for our absurd thinking and bias consideration for particular.
This incident has reminded of past memories of my own days as a youngster almost one and half decade’s back. The place and times were totally different as compared to the present days. A small village of Haryana, where I grew up as a child. More conservative in outlook and traditional in approach. Fear of elders, school teachers, and parents was motivating force in the day to day lives.
I recall when I was in class 8th; My cousin was engaged in a bitter rivalry with one of his classmates, and coincidentally belong from the same colony where we used to stay those days. Both of these used to share comments to be at each other’s faces, and during the school recess, lot of times, they were engaged in a free style wrestling match with each other almost similar in WWE fashion.
Things became so bad between them , that in order to settle scores with this ‘enemy’ of his, he befriended two of his other classmates who were considered to be muscular. These three of similar size for one mission agreed to help each other, and with the help of some local street boys decided to teach a lesson to enemy. But fortunately, things finally cooled down between both of them, before things went out of control, and any disastrous incident took place.
Then, I also remember a big bully in our colony who was a couple of years senior to me. He used to get that sadistic pleasure in bullying everyone including me, calling absurd names of mine. Chasmish, Motuu etc etc. As he was physically stronger than me those days, and in one on one combat sure defeat was assured. Coincidently, there was another friend of mine from the same locality who too was fed up with this bully.
Once, he told me that some of his street boys are real goons, and they could help us to settle scores with this bully. Finally, we decided to help each other in this regard, and two days later, we arranged 50rs to pay to them and managed to bring that bully to a nearby playground, where those goons were waiting. Immediately, they jumped on this bully, thrashed him and delivered a stern warning to him that if he did not mend his ways, he may not live too long. Both my friend and I were really pleased over this accomplishment of ours.
But that evening, the parents of this bully landed over at my place, and filled my parents ears about whole incident, about being socializing of me with street boys to teach lesson to his child...blabla.
My parents were simply astonished, and I remember Dad giving me a lecturer and a hard slap for my stupidity and innocence. As both family had regards for each other, things were sorted out there and then. Even his son mended his ways.
Now, when I look back in these two incidents, triggered the important point about the teenage time, where it is most influential time to decide his future journey, and burden the responsibility on parent’s shoulders to take care of a child of that age.
Certainly every child wish their parents to pick their broken pieces in their lives and bail them out. And it always been a problem for every generation people to proper care for his teenage child, Spending time, knowing their small-small good bad habits, knowing mental dilemma of child, what they want to be, sexual knowledge is must. As half information is always dangerous, kind of crime and mental dilemma of person in affluent and developing countries always differs.
For all the parents whose children have reached that ‘danger zone’ called teenage, it is thus very important to maintain that proximity and comfort level with their children so that the latter do not hesitate even a bit to tell their problems or confusion to their parents. The problem does not rest there, once the parents are aware of the problems or confusion faced by their teenaged wards, they should test their own analytical and communication skills to enable their teenaged wards inspire the right thought process, and do not let themselves on the wrong path, at the end of which there could be nothing but untold misery for their wards. Of course, such parents would also be condemned to suffer in the bargain. But here also a deep understanding, adjustment between and past and future generation is must, else nothing will work. Misinterpretation of objects and materials hinders the pure growth of a teenage.
Needless to add, but parents must have to understand the kind of customs/routine they want to see in their child, must be followed by the parents also, else it will be injustice.
Manish Solanki
